Monday, August 11, 2008

SchierZenn Bistro, does it live up to the hype?

WEDNESDAY, July 30, 2008, 11:07 a.m.By Richard Parker


The Canadian Bistro which operates under the name SchierZenn has recently come under attack for being too interested in their image and not delivering on promises of good food and quality service. Complaints have centered around the Maitre’d/manager Marge and her partner Norm. It is difficult to discern who is actually Marge and who is Norm. It seems at times that both are Marge as are many of their guests. This is quite confusing and may be a result of the Chardonnay which is never in short supply. Another criticism is the shade in the bathroom which doesn’t fit the window properly and the splashyness of the new vessel sink. The most outrageous offense seems to be the lack of processed food stuff which seems nonexistent at this little Canadian eatery.


I personally have eaten at the bistro and found none of these vicious (not Mary) rumors to be true. Marge and Marge are always quite hospitable and the bathroom is always clean, well stocked, shaded nicely, and the toilet paper in the proper over-the-top method. The food is high-quality and the preparation seamless. The chardonnay that flows from their faucet (the fancy bathroom one), is never too sweet or too warm and is always served in a one of a kind priceless glass made by blind Chartreusian monks. If that’s not enough…Marge is often quoted as saying that breaks of these extraordinary glasses will go unpunished as that will allow them to go on another adventure to obtain a new glass and who knows the next one could be the cup of Jesus. It is my humble opinion that the opponents of The SchierZenn Bistro are envious of this little Canadian Gem, do not want anyone to have fun, have poor judgment and smell bad…or my name isn’t …..Richard F. Parker.






If the torch is lit, the Bistro is open and all are welcome.

In more recent news regarding the SchierZenn Bistro, authorities announced this morning that the Canadian Gem has been laundering money to fund an illegal treehouse racket through an accomplice some allege is the son of Norm Marge. It seems there is more than meets the eye behind their so called chardonnay faucet.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Have always loved the Bistro, although the copious amounts of chardonnay consumed while we were there could easily have clouded our judgement. Best of luck in your expansion plans. Don't forget us little people as you become more and more rich and famous.

Steve and Lisa